Count Orlok

This article, Count Orlok, is property of Billy cougar.

Count Orlok
Biographical information
Real name	Unknown, possibly Max or Maxwell Orlok
Also known as	Count Orlok, Orlock, Count Orlock, Graf Orlok, Max Schreck, Dracula, Nosferatu, The Dark Lord
Nationality	Romanian
Age	163
Status	Alive
Birthplace	Transylvania, Roumania, Europe
Physical description
Eye colour	Grey
Hair colour	Bold
Ethnicity	European Vampire
Height	7'1
Weight	141 kg
Blood type	?
Gender	Male
Career, affiliations and family information
Affiliation(s)	Jacob Knox, Shinnok, Quan Chi, Never Never Land, Jersey Devil (possibly), Jack Herbert, Brotherhood of Shadow, Fallen Angel Michael, Kane Barrel, 4th Reich (former), Damien Thorn, Nocturnal cult
Enemies	Most of humans, Thomas Hutter, Ellen (not DeGeneres)
Occupation(s)	Blood-sucker/vampire, castle dweller, property owner, former company owner
Notable family members	Granny (great granddaughter), unnamed wife, unnamed grandchildren, Clurkicus (descendant), Slender Man (great great grandson-in-law), Slendrina (descendant), Jerome LaRusso (relative), Skid (son), unnamed son
Video Games, Movies and Cartoons information
Main appearance(s) (Video Games)	SVR 20 AH-onwards
Main appearance(s) (Cartoons)	SpongeBob SquarePants
Created by	Quan Chi
Portrayed by	Max Schreck

"All at once through acrid smoke I peer, terror grips my heart! Mesmerised, you shall all fall before the evil Bringer of Torture! Putrid pus shall seep from your eyes, the sulphur will burn your flesh! Where are thou, Lucifer? Please end this living death!!!! You shall beg. Assuming shape of goat-like man as the Tempter stands before you; And speaking slowly, summons wretched sinners seeking sanctuary! Your suffering will be undone the day you HAIL THE DARKEST ONE!!!!"

— Orlok's quote to bring a deadly Satanic plague into the city

Count Orlok was a vampire born in Transylvania, Roumania, but is a creation of the Never Never Land.

Orlok is one of the most satanic monsters of Hell - rivalling even his own creator Quan Chi, Noob, Clurkicus and Smoke. In this regard, he is also notable for being more faithful in many ways to the traditional representation of vampires in folklore, being a sexy-ass demonic creature rather than an attractive gentleman.

Info

Count Orlok is a vampire from Transylvania, and is known as "The Dark Lord" in Europe, who feasts upon the blood of living humans. He is believed to have been created by Quan Chi, the lieutenant sorcerer of Shinnok.

Orlok dwells alone in a vast mould castle hidden among the rugged peaks in a lost corner of the Carpathian Mountains. The castle is swathed in shadows, and is badly neglected with a highly sinister feel to it. He is in league with the housing agent Jacob Knox, and wants to purchase a house in Nuremberg. Local peasants live in terror of Orlok and never venture out after dark. Thomas Hutter scorns their fears as mere superstition, and ventures to the decrepit castle; however, the coach-driver will not take him over the bridge leading to it. A black-swathed figure in a black coach (actually Orlok) drives him the rest of the way. He is greeted by Orlok, who claims that as it is past midnight all of his servants have gone to bed, and the two dine together and discuss Orlok's purchasing of a house in Nuremberg, Germany. Hutter accidentally cuts his thumb when slicing bread and Orlok is barely able to control himself from drinking from Hutter's wound. After Hutter collapses in a chair, Orlok feeds off of him: Hutter discovers two bites on his neck the next day but attributes them to mosquitoes, unaware at this point that his host is actually a vampire.

Hutter only realises the horrific truth later in his chambers after further reading from "The Book of Vampires", and he discovers that he is trapped in the castle with the Nosferatu. Orlok advances upon Hutter, and Hutter's beloved wife, Ellen, senses through telepathy that her husband's life is in mortal danger; She screams for him and somehow Orlok is powerless to touch him. The next morning Hutter searches the castle, and discovers to his revulsion that Orlok is "sleeping" in the basement in a clean coffin filled with soil. Hutter then witnesses Orlok loading a cart with several coffins filled with soil, one of which he then hides in and they are driven off to be loaded on to a ship headed for Nuremberg. This soil is later revealed to be unhallowed soil from Orlok's own grave; according to "The Book of Vampires", Nosferatu must sleep by the day in the unholy soil from their graves to sustain their power.

On board the ship, Orlok kills every crew member until only the captain and his first mate remain. Later when the first mate goes to the cargo hold to investigate, Count Orlok rises from his coffin, terrifying the first mate who jumps overboard in fear. The captain ties himself to the wheel of the ship but then Count Orlok creeps up on him and kills the captain. His journey by sea spreads plague all over Europe.

Upon his arrival in Nuremberg, Orlok infests the city with rats that sleep in his coffins, and countless people fall victim to his plague, forcing the local authorities to declare a quarantine and provoking hysteria among the citizens. Rather than come back as vampires, however, his victims simply die. Ellen and Hutter know the causes of the plague but fear they are powerless to stop Nosferatu. Ellen watches sullenly as lines of coffins are carried through the empty streets, and she realises Orlok must be stopped. Ellen learns from "The Book of Vampires" that – rather than a sword through the heart – Orlok can only be vanquished if a woman pure in heart willingly allows him to feed off her long enough to prevent him from seeking shelter from sunrise. Ellen coaxes Orlok to her room and lies in bed whilst he drinks from her neck. The sun rises, and Orlok is burned away in a cloud of smoke. Knox is able to sense Orlok is dead, which saddens him. Ellen dies soon after.

However, he has been resurrected not too long ago, presumably by Shinnok himself, and now roams and haunts around the US, particularly New Jersey along with the Jersey Devil and is responsible for many disappearances in the area.

Hunt for Kazama

At the Crappy Woods

• Count Orlok: Now these surroundings are rather... pleasant. As long as the sun don't show up.
• Jack Herbert: We should find a looney bin on the far side of the forest. I heard some robots are inside.
• Orlok: Ahh, I should suppose that the machines would enjoy the same scenery as I do, hehe. Fantastick!

(Orlok and Herbert step before Bryan Furry and his looney bin minions, including Shawn.)

• Orlok: You're not human, right? That explains why you enjoy such a wasted and catastrophic environment.
• Bryan Furry: Look who's talking? Seems like you're some type of a vampire, eh? Probably stronk for that matter. Oh, I'm going to enjoy this!
• Orlok: Very well. Although I would prefer a yuman prey, I can't drink a cyborg's oil.
• Jack Herbert: You should feast on the patients once we're done with them.
• Orlok: Good idea, my only human friend.

At the Little Havana Storehouse in Miami, FL

• Herbert: I heard a bunch of Devil worshippers hang around that storehouse ever since the Montana Gang fell apart.
• Orlok: Weather are they on my side or not we'll find out. I wonder why I should even drink their blood if they're already loyal to our Dark Master.
• Herbert: Let us find out, sir.
• Orlok: Very well. Lead the way through, my human freind.

(Orlok and Herbert stop on the top floor of the storehouse's office building and see Jules Fernandez)

• Orlok: The big bad leader of the Innocentz? HA! I thought these skull-painted boys belonged to a similar Mexican sect.
• Jules: Indeed, but what is Diablo himself doing here? There ain't nothin' here for ya, Nosferatu.
• Herbert: Looks like he knows your specie.
• Orlok: Yes, yes, but not a path to my defeat.
• Jules: No explanation then, eh? While I get that we both serve the same Lord, I cannot allow you to beat and kill and drink the blood of my men like that! Prepare yourself, vampiro!
• Herbert: Here he comes, sire!
• Orlok: Lemme have him! HAHAHAHAHHA!!!

At the Mishima Containers

• Orlok: What is this sith? I drive no pleasure from fighting mere machines! I want yuman blood, dam it!
• Herbert: Welp, the GPS led us to here. I am sorry, My Master. But on the brighter note, perhaps a yuman Mishima can be found at the end of these containers, ruling the shebang from behind. You know how things is, My Lord.
• Orlok: Very well, although I highly doubt it.
• Herbert: Ummm, just a question; how come you don't speak with your German accent anymore, Boss?
• Orlok: I'm not in the mood for it.

(Orlok and Herbert beat off and up all of the machines only to encounter a freaking JACK)

• Orlok: This piece of junk seems quite... different.
• Herbert: It looks stronger, much stronger! Oh well, so much for assuming there'd be an actual human being here in the end.
• Orlok: ARRGHHAAA!!! THIS IS MOST IRRITATING! It feels like the sun, dam it! Just lemme destroy this thing and we'll be on our way!
• Herbert: Yes, My Lord.

At the Cornet Dock

• Orlok: That large yacht's next. Goddam, I hope there are some yumans on it! I thirst for zheir blood!
• Herbert: Sure, but I suspect such tankers are not permitted in that close proximity to the piers! Weird.
• Orlok: Inconsequential! All I want to known is if prey lies within! Some tasty, tasty prey! We'll see. Well, let us move on.
• Herbert: Yes, my Dark Master.

(Orlok and Jack run afoul of Madam Lili Cornet at the end of the dockyard with the shiny yacht.)

• Lili: HAHAHAHAHHA! WELCO-What the? You-you-you you're the Nosferatu! C-C-C-Count Maxwell Orlok! In the flesh?
• Orlok: Indeed, I am. You're a Cornet, aren't you? I can sense it from your aura and that... that crest. Your family crest. On it are black goats, they remind me of Black Phillip and Baphomet Williams. Well...
• Lili: *Bows down, slowly* This query is a rarity, but how may I be of service, My Lord?
• Herbert: Interesting. I thought the Cornets were Jewish?
• Orlok: In front of me, all false religions, including Judaism, fade away. Now Lili, fetch me your servants upon the ship so I can devour them.
• Lili: Yes, sir! *Lili runs up the yacht to fetch the servants*
• Herbert: Well, that was easy.

At Russian Terminal 7

• Count Orlok: So, this is where those old Soviet soldiers were spotted.
• Herbert: I suppose so, My Lord. A large number of personnel seem to have already come ashore... They seemed quite shady and shadowy, like some Skinwalkers or some sith.
• Orlok: We'll see just how entertaining they can be. Haha!

(Orlok and Herbert get at the end of the terminals and see Sergei Dragunov.)

• Orlok: I was looking forward to tearing up some real troops! Well, this has been a disappointment! You're all weaklings! WEAK COWARDS!
• Herbert: At least this one is pretending to be tough.
• Sergei Dragunov: ...
• Orlok: Are you the last soldier to beat? Hopefully, you can provide me with some entertainment unlike your fallen comrades. I shall enjoy drinking your blood once your body is all bruised and mangled on the floor.
• Herbert: He will not escape.

At Sky Temple

• Orlok: Strange and uncomfortable building... This better not be what I think it is.
• Jacky Herbert: According to some Chinese fables - and I'm afraid that it is what you think it is - this is Raiden's infamous Sky Temple.
• Orlok: DAM IT! Let's tear this sith apart!
• Herbert: Yes, my Lord.

(Orlok and Herbert get to the roof of the Temple through the attic and see the Wind God, Fujin.)

• Orlok: It seems like playtime has ended, hasn't it, "mighty one"?
• Fujin: Son of a biatch! You're the Nosferatu, the vampire that was created by Quan Chi!
• Herbert: Correct, old man.
• Orlok: You Elder Gods are pathetic fleas and weaklings who will all feel the wrath of Shinnok!
• Fujin: I'll end you here and now, spawn of the Never Never Land!

At West District, 13th Avenue, NY

• Orlok: All this ruinations, chaos and destruction suits my dark senses. This is... beautiful.
• Herbert: Master, I have seen some folk around the multi-tenant building. A smart tactic and course of action?
• Orlok: Obilirate them all and drink their blood! This should prove quite interesting, my servant.

(Herbert and the Count find a bunch of fighters on top of flat.)

• Herbert: Well, look at this.
• The Fighter: Goddamn, what are you demonions!? This is insane! No one told me I'd have to fight actual demons or sorcerers or something.
• Orlok: That's right! Now give me your all and you'll still lose! You'll die and be slaughtered like the cattle you are!
• Herbert: Yes! You tell him, My Dark Lord!

At West District, Chinatown|West District

• Orlok: Oh yes! YES! Yes! YEAH! I can see and sense humankind's darkest ambitions swirling all around me! GATHER AROUND ME, DARKNESS OF THE ABYSS!
• Herbert: I can feel it as well, Master. Hey, uh, I also saw multiple criminal scum around there. It seems like we are overwhelmingly outnumbered. Proposed course of action?
• Orlok: Do you have to ask? We'll need to destroy them all so I may feast.
• Herbert: Yes sir!

(Orlok and Herbert step into the poor market.)

• John Cena: All those guys weren't enough to stop you, were they, Count Orlok? I am Jhon Senna! Bodyguard to Xi Jinping himself and one of the leading men of CPC! Surrender now and we'll see we won't-
• Orlok: SILENCE, TRAITOR! I'LL ENJOY DRINKING YOUR BLOOD AFTER YOU DIE!
• John: No, you be quiet! You might have taken over WWE! But you'll never defeat me!
• Herbert: This peon is rather cocky, My Lord! Let's tear him limb... from LIMB!
• Orlok: That's the plan, my human friend.

At WrestleMania 55 arena

• Orlok: I now own this place! AHAHAHAHAHA!
• Herbert: According to rumours and by all logical means, the deserter and traitor Jin Kazama should definitely be here, given his status as the ex-CEO of the company.
• Orlok: Perfect! I'll shred him.

(Orlok and Jacky get into the middle of the shiny ring.)

• The Rock: Whoa! What the hell?! Count Orlok? What r u doing here?
• Herbert: Where is Jin Kazama?
• JBL: Well, sorry to disappoint you boss, but he sure as hell ain't here.
• Herbert: You best not be lying to us.
• Orlok: He was here recently, the air is filled with his treacherous stench. It's enough to drive one mad, hahaha!
• The Miz: SHUT UP, PEOPLE! No one interrupts my match! CEO or not!
• Orlok: You wish to fight, Mizzy? I'll give you a fright!
• Herbert: Let's smash them, Dark Lord!

At Red Island on Duro

• Orlok: This presence... It must be coming from deeper within. Goddamn.
• Herbert: Current temperature is 12 degrees Celsius. There is approximately 10 degrees Celsius underground here, my Lord.
• Orlok: It will be interesting to see what's emanating such evil energy. Uh, how much is that in Fahrenheit?
• Herbert: I apologise, but I do not know, my Lord.

(Orlok and Herbert walk through the dark caves and get into a large training room with red alien-like vibes.)

• Orlok: Ah, this evil energy is pleasing to the senses! It must be coming from the sword!
• Yoshimitsu: Uh-oh! We have a demon! You must have been drawn here by the sword! Otherwise it ain't evil!
• Herbert: The sword shall be ours!
• Yoshimitsu: Fools! You shall die by the blade.
• Orlok: Your sword will help me decapitate Kazama!

At stylish Preps' WWE Gym

• Jack: It seems like the father of that rich brat known as Derby Harrington worked at some time at the Mishima Corp. I think his mansion is up ahead. Of course, his mansion cannot possibly be compared to your fortress of a castle, sir. Btw, he owns this jim, which is why we're here, sir.
• Orlok: An ally of the one we seek? This will be most pleasurable. I will enjoy watching him die!
• Herbert: Ahahahaha! Me too.

(Orlok and his henchman find two inbreed Preps in the middle of the wrestlin' ring.)

• Orlok: The fuk are you two?
• Beef: What the? What is that? Holly sith!
• Orlock: Yes, I can feel your fear!
• Herbert: Perhaps these two fools can give us some info on Kazama.
• Orlok: They will have to less they want to share a fate worse than death with Fujin.

At Old Bullworth Vale

• Herbert: Somewhere here lives that scumbag of a brat whose parents used to suck Kazama's toes back when he was the CEO of the wrasslin' shebang, my Lord.
• Orlok: The boss of our previous encounter.
• Herbert: Good point, sir. I believe he is probably the richest scum here and his wealth surpasses the one of the two fools we encountered.
• Orlok: Surely. Now, let us go!
• Jacky: Yes, my Master.

(Jack and Lord Orlok found Derby in front of his mansion.)

• Orlok: So, you know of Jin Kazama?
• Derby: What on Earth are you? Who is this Kazama chap you bloody speak of??? What's going on?
• Orlok: Hah, not only do you sound confused, you look scared sithless as well! This pathetic brat is the leader of the rich kids bunch? Don't make me laugh even more!
• Derby: What did you just say, you... you... uhhh (trembles a bit)
• Orlok: TELL ME WHERE IS JIN KAZAMA!
• Derby: I... I-I-I'm so-so-so-sorry, bu-but-
• Orlok: ENOUGH! I'll just beat and torture the info out of you, you rich sack of useless waste!
• Jack: Good one and good idea, boss! Want me to cut off his balls for you, sir?
• Orlok: Like he has any.

At Mishima High School

• Jack: We seem to be near the school that that rich old guy Heihachi Mishima built. He carries the Devil Gene.
• Orlok: Indeed. That must by it feels so familiar... here.
• Herbert: I'm sure we'll run into some very interesting people.
• Orlok: I'll be the judge of that, my dear servant.

(The two villains find Xiaoyu behind the school, selling drugs to some Hispanic drug dealers.)

• Xiaoyu: What on Earth? Ummm, are you a... Nosferatu?
• Orlok: And what if I am? Who the hell are you?
• Xiaoyu: Uhhh, dear sir, I am Xiaoyu Ling Mishima.
• Jack: Aren't you Heihacki's granddaughter?
• Xiao: Yes... sir.
• Jack: Perfect. We have some questions we hope you could answer.
• Orlok: Come with us, human.
• Xiaoyu: I... Uhhh... Yes, sir... s.

At a Taekwondo dojo town in Korea

• Orlok: Isn't this the locale of that old fool who had gone and got himself beaten in a King of Iron Fist Tournament?
• Jack: Bang Jinrei, sir?
• Orlok: No. White-Headed Mountain I think...
• Jack: Baek Doo San?
• Count: That's the one.
• Jacky: Jin fought in these tournaments as well. Surely o' Baek must know something.
• Orlok: I'll eat him alive otherwise.

(At the last dojo, Jack and Orlok run into Baek.)

• Baek Doo San: Dam it, what is with this monster?! Who or what is this???
• Orlok: Monster? Hahahaha, monster indeed. I am unlike any you have ever seen before! You should be on your knees now, growling!
• Baek: NEVER!
• Jack: You will show respect to your new Lord, fool!
• Orlok: I don't like the sound of that, your resistance is futile, but I relish the fear in your eyes as you say it.
• Baek: I won't let an abomination like you ruin all of my plans! Never!
• Orlok: Like you have a choice, hahahahaha! You will die by my hand, old fool!
• Jack: You had your chance, Mountain boy.

At the Industrial Zone in Downtown

• Orlok: Where's leader of the proletarian?
• Jack: Cannot see him anywhere. However, what I did see was a bunch of Innocentz running about. Think they have some sort of beef going on with the workers here?
• Orlok: The Innocentz can be made to obey, but the workers? If they don't comply we'll eliminate them, one by one! And I will enjoy feasting on their blut when I'm done with them!
• Jack: Yes, sir.

(Jack Herbert and his Master meet Kent at the end of the railroad tracks and at the start of the dockyard.)

• Kent: Are you an alien?
• Orlok: You're-Ugh, what is this horrible sensation?!!? You shat in your underwear, you filthy, stinking human???!
• Kent: What? N-no! Not at all! What are you saying?! W-what are you?
• Jack: This is your new master, foolish one. Now, where is Jin Kazama?
• Kent: That weird Japanese emo guy who led the wrestling company? I sold him some of my stuff in the past.
• Herbert: You will tell us exactly how it went down. We will find him, we will capture him and our Lord will forever be the most powerful!
• Orlok: Exactly. Thank you, dear Herbert.
• Kent: Follow me, sir.

At the Museum of Wax Statues

• Jack: Warning, sir! We seem to be surrounded in this building by a bunch of wooden puppets who can come to life! We should make haste, sir!
• Orlok: Excuse me? For what do you take me for, my servant??? I sense the prey is inside. We go in!
• Jack: I apologise! Uhh sure, yes, my master!

(Orlok and Jack get into the main hall of the Museum which looks like a church)

• Wooden Spoon: Who are you two!? A Nosferatu and his human servant???! Are you Count Orlok?
• Orlok: Oh? Looks like these puppets are smarter than one would have imagined.
• Jack: Indeed, my lord. It appears they have been created by the Mishima Corporation as well.
• Wooden Spoon: You've got a lot of nerve speaking that name in my presence, old man. I will lead the company soon!
• Herbert: You?

At Subterranean Pavilion

• Orlok: This passage wasn't seen here until... Until we inspected it closely and came across it. Interestink.
• Jack: Yes, it seems to continue deeper. Maybe this was one of Mishima's secret passages once? Shall we proceed onward?
• Orlok: Of course, although I think I know just to whom these caverns belong to.
• Herbert: Whomst?
• Orlok: The romantic interest of our previous encounter.

(Jacky and Orlok run into Mokujin when the ground they were on collapses right into his "room".)

• Orlok: I knew I sensed another of Mishima's wooden puppets.
• Mokujin: You two are evil beings and neither may defile this sacred ground! Begone! It's not enough you two are literal monstrosities from Hell, you have to destroy my museum and my future wife as well!?
• Jack: Actually, I am a human from Earth. Nevertheless, you should show some respect to my Lord and master! He will be yours too as well, wooden fool.
• Mokujin: You are but a furball scoundrel! Leave, fool!
• Kuma: I don't think so, wooden man.
• Nobile: He's quite the taunter, boss.
• Mokujin: Then fight, cowards!

At The Fat Aranami Stable in friggen' North Outworld

• Kuma: Do we really have to meet some overweight gambler, my dearest lawyer?
• Nobile: Yea, but I must warn you that he is a formidable threat who was discharged from Outworld once. We must proceed with caution! This fat fuk's dangerous.
• Kuma: So he used to be a rikishi or some type of alien yokozuna? Weird. They let sumos gamble on Outworld? For being a dictatorship, folks have a lot of more rights than on Earth.
• Nobile: Let us see for ourselves, Sir.

(Nobile and Kuma step into an underground dojo, sumo-styled and surrounded by purple aura.)

• Ma tako ko Jama: You've come a long way. Ohohoho, it's been a long, LONG time since my blood has been spilt!
• Kuma: Goddamn! You seem to actually pose a threat!
• Ma tako: Ahahahahahah! Yes! YES! Die, furball so I may use your hide to decorate my dojo!
• Nobile: This one is quite deadly and sadistic, Lord Kumaio! What do we do!?
• Kuma: Like always, we figh-
• Ma tako: Quiet! SILENCE! SHUT... UP! In the entire history of Outworld, only 80 martial artists have been awarded a trophy by Shao Kahn himself personally! I will now demonstrate what it takes to get there!

At Mishima Estate

• Kuma: *Sweats, is tense and nervous and can't relax* So... Heihachi Mishima. My old master is here. *Wipes a tear*
• Nobile: Assuming the information we obtained earlier is correct, then yes. He is indeed your father-figure and a wealthy man. I am proud to serve and work for such a noble pet of his, like you.
• Kuma: Thx, my lawyer. But to see if the old man is really here, we need to search! Search!
• Nobile: Right sir, search we shall, sir!
• Kuma: Then lettuce move.

(Kuma and Nobile stumbleupon Heihachi meditating at the back of the estate, before the waterfall.)

• Kuma: I found you! Master! MASTER! Where's my dreams that I've been after?! I thought u were dead!
• Heihachi Mishima: I am. I am your Master's clone in fact. Your master died in Hell when Kazuya killed 'im there.
• Kuma: Oh... Oh.. Oh.
• Nobile: Damn, what a letdown. And I was really hopin' I'd see the legendary Heihacki himself today.
• Heihachi clone: Hmm? What's wrong? At least pretend I'm the real deal.
• Kuma: ARGHHAAAA!!!! UNLIKE MY MASTER, you never could read my moods! Bad clone! DIE!!!! (Growls like the behemoths of Hell and charges at Heihachi)
• Nobile: Yes! Let your anger, wrath and frustrations out, Kumaio! DESTROY HIM, LORD KUMA! DESTROY HIM!

In New York City during Azazel's invasion

• Kuma: I have a feeling the show here might be over soon.
• Freddie: It seems like the ruckus has already begun! Ultimate chaos has been unleashed! Perhaps that is what you meant?
• Kuma: Goddam, if this ain't another 9/11... Idk what is.
• Freddie: What do u suggest, my bear employer? Should we sit back and watch the show? Or take a more practical approach and scatter around for clues concerning the Fallen One?
• Kuma: As much as I would prefer the first because these pesky humans are quite the painful wrenches in my furry backside, we'll go with the second, my dearest lawyer.
• Freddie: Arright. Let's goh!

(Kuma and Nobile stop in front of the New York City Police HQ.)

• Kuma: Hey! HEY! HEY!!! You, the man in blue, not Freddie! (Growls) R u all right? Need some help?
• McGruff the Crime Dog: What the-? A bear? Here? And I am not, I need some goddon help against these... demonic beings!
• Freddie: Wait, Lord Kumaio! Just why should we help you?
• McGruff: Seriously? You'd prefer Azazel over me!?
• Kuma: These demons are the Dark Lord's doings? Bah the gawds.
• Nobile: Should we help him?
• Kuma: I suppose so. Azazel is just as bad as Kazama.
• McGruff: Jin Kazama? I have some dirt on him you might like.
• Nobile: Got it. Mr. Kumaio, let us strike at the đavolos.

At Central Commercial District, 11th Avenue  

• Kuma: This place is clearly on the decline, ain't it, my dearest lawyer?
• Freddie: Aha. A prime example how alien wars on Earth can dramatically increase crime rates. Hmmm... Seems like there were DeVazzis lingering around?
• Kuma: We have no reason to stay here for that long to find out. Let's make haste, Freddie.

(Our two heroes run into Bruce Ultor.)  

• Batman: Freeze, biatch! Am Badman! Where do you two scoundrels think you're going?
• Nobile: What is this??? The legendary Batman himself who takes down gangsters?
• Batman: Das rite! If you're one yourself, you're going down!
• Kuma: Shutup, Bat! Move out of the way or you'll get scrambled!
• Batman: Nooo, I'm here to save the day! I am stopping both of you's! You look suspicious anyway.
• Nobile: Attack, lord Kumaio!
• Kuma: Indeed I'll habe to.

At Carla's Poolside in a large Brazilian city, Brazil  

• Kuma: What a lovely town. I'd love to bring Panda here sometime and have a little private time with her, y'know?
• Nobile: Aha. It seems like pastoral lands have been replaced by this rotten city several years ago as part to revitalise tourism. Human greed knows no bounds, eh?
• Kuma: Indeed it don't, my dearest lawyer. This Earth has neber been enough!

(Kuma and his lawyer run into Tigre Jackson)  

• Jackson: Hey, you guys know where Eddy Gordo is, don’t you? Take me to him now! He is my idol! I wish to have his autograph! I'm his biggest fanboy!
• Nobile: What the Hell?
• Kuma: Eddy Gordo? He is one of Kazama's commanders! That prik gotta die! Stay away from him!
• Jackson: You dare threaten Eddy!? You'll pay for this! Both of you! I'll have his autograph, furball!
• Nobile: Here he comes, Master!
• Kuma: Why are you humans always such thick-headed meatheads?! Eddy will die!
• Jackson: NOOOOO!!!!

TBA, maybe.

Trivia

• Count Orlok is responsible for the myth that vampires turn to dust if caught in Earth sunlight - which arguably makes him one of the greatest influences in modern real life vampire lore.
• A member of the Spys organisation, Troy Favelliano, bares a resemblance to Nosferatu.
• Count Orlok makes a cameo appearance at the end of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Graveyard Shift". Graveyard Shift is also the name of a song by a Satanic band whomst've name I've forgot.
• Count Orlok was portrayed by Max Schreck in the classic 1922 silent horror film Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Graunes. He is also based on Bram Stoker's character, Count Dracula, altho Orlok is much, much cooler.

Gallery

Sir Orlok creeping up the stairs.

While his great granddaughter is going down the stairs.

Orlok's creepy-ass stare.

A scary drawing of Nosferatu.

Orlok on the boat.

Nosferatu and Hutter.

Orlok creeping at the door.

Count Orlok on his throne.

Orlok caught on high-quality security camera leaving a butcherstore in Jersey.

Theme song

Pretty self-explanatory in the lyrics.

HELL - Vespertine Legacy